I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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