walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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