I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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