Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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