I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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