I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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