I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
