I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
