Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
