Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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