so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
