So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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