Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
