No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
