I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
