what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize