Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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