Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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