May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
