She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize