im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you had me at cake vodka
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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