he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
