just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
