Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
