I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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