Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
