just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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