you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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