I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
