Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
