It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
