Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
