Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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