I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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