You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
