Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
