Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize
