I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
