I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
