the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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