Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
