I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
