I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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