I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
