Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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