woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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