I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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