Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
