Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This baby is an asshole
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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