she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
