We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
