My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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