I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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