I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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