I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
