i permit you to call me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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