your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
