I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
