it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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