when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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