just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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