What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
