my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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