You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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